In The Room

You ever heard the phrase, “you are not for everyone and everyone is not for you?” It’s true. Sometimes, you’re not meant to be “in the room.” When I say “in the room,” I’m referring to being included – either in a specific place or with a certain group of people.

I consider myself an ambivert. Sometimes, I prefer to be on my own doing my own thing (introvert), and other times, I like to be out and about with folks (extrovert). However, I don’t tip the scale on either end, I balance right in the middle. I can’t always be out (it’s taxing), but I can’t always be on my own either (I’m a people person), so ambivert. However, God has been dealing with me regarding being “in the room” or included.

Did you ever wonder why you were denied a position for a job, but your attitude, resume and references were killer? Or why you weren’t invited to a function with friends but others were? I think it’s because you weren’t supposed to be in the room or included for whatever reason. Only God knows.

My mom shared with me that sometimes you aren’t meant to be in a specific place or with a certain group of people because, plain and simple, you weren’t meant to be there. You weren’t meant to be “in the room.” You weren’t meant to be included. Exclusion was for your own good.

But it hurts. It hurts when you know the qualities you have could light up a whole stadium. It hurts when you see others being included and you aren’t. But hey, did it ever cross your mind that maybe they weren’t meant to feel your glow? Maybe they weren’t meant to see you radiate. Maybe they weren’t meant to feel that heat because if they did, they would burn. They aren’t capable of withstanding the flame, so cliche as it is, they gotta get out of the kitchen. But in this case, God has set you apart. He has placed you in a whole ‘nother kitchen because he knows something you don’t.

I can’t say that it will hurt less when individuals don’t see what you see, but I pray that you grow some tough skin, but still keep a soft heart. I pray that when you enter a room you are seen, heard, and respected. I pray that you are time-honored and not taken for granted. You may not be for everyone – that’s okay. Everyone also may not be for you – that’s better than okay. You deserve to be around those who let your light shine and shine with you. The rooms and the people that you are called to will happen organically – that is where you will be meant to be. You won’t have to put on a mask (pun intended) or be something you’re not. The right ones will be the right ones. You won’t ever feel excluded or question your existence. You are whole just as you are.

Take care,


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